Financial - the refinance has become a total hassle. The loan officer at Chase floated between three different branches, so we could not find her when we had questions. Why doesn't Chase put a loan officer at each branch?? The appraisal was ordered on July 8 but no one has contacted us yet. When the loan officer abruptly quit this week, they told me the loan had gone to a new loan officer, but calling the bank where that person was located resulted in the news that the loan originated in a different "district" so he couldn't do it. They gave us a new number for "the boss" but he doesn't answer his voice mail. His voice mail message had another name and number, which resulted in a lovely person with names and numbers and access to our file so at least we have a little information. We now have three more phone numbers, but no answers about the progress of the loan.
Household - so much needs to be done in this house, and I'm not sure where to start. The garage is clean (yay!) but the house needs attention, and when it's hot I run out of energy early in the morning before Neal is awake so I could start noisy chores. And the projects - we have so many that are started and not finished - that makes me crazy. The shed needs new shelves and a different door, the hedge needs to be trimmed back, the long driveway needs to be cleaned, every flat surface needs to be powerwashed, the berries need to be transplanted, everything needs weeding, and on and on. Then there's the refinishing projects list - the patio table, the glider, the dining room table, two dressers, plus repairs to a dresser drawer. Oh, and did I mention that I have filing and organizing to do?
Automotive - first the van power steering, then the car's oil leak, then the van again for something else, then the car's serpentine belt pulley MELTED, and now the van again. We thought it was a wheel bearing, initially the mechanic thought it was the AC motor, but now it appears to be a series of other things. And the extended warranty insurance folks aren't answering their phone. A victim of the economy perhaps?
Church - I'm discouraged about the commitment of ward members. Temple attendance has dropped off so much in the past few years. I don't understand that at all. It's one night a month! How hard can that be? So many people accept callings and then just don't bother. I guess part of it is that I grew up in a family where if you had responsibilities in church, you did them, no question. If you had to be gone, you made sure there was a sub in place. I don't get all the weekend camping trips that are planned for Friday through Sunday, and I know that my reaction is based on my family example as I was growing up - take Friday off, leave on Thursday and return on Saturday night so you could be in church on Sunday to partake of the Sacrament and support the teachers. And I don't want to think about reverence during Sacrament meeting.
Socially - interesting experiences lately, leading me to feel like some relationships are just too much effort.
Family - sigh. What can I say? We grow up with certain expectations, which are reinforced by a tradition of family reunions and treasured interactions. I know that it's different for everyone and I cannot impose my standards. But I miss the family gatherings each summer in Jackson and haven't found anything to replace that. I miss my daughter, and family dynamics have changed dramatically since she died. Then also we are looking at two more family members who have been diagnosed with cancer, and I hate the helpless feeling of knowing there is nothing we can do to make it go away. Plus my confidence in medical professionals has been severely tested with the experiences of Neal and Julia, so I don't have much confidence in what they do. They "practice" medicine after all.
Physical - I know I should be doing more to take care of myself. But I have spent the past four years concentrating on Neal's needs and not doing much for myself. I see a physical/massage therapist monthly to help my back and see a chiropractor about every two months to adjust my neck, but I need to do something about my new glasses that have annoyed me since the day I got them. (Transition lenses, don't ask) And - exercise and better nutrition and the dentist and blood work review - I just can't seem to get it together and make myself a priority.
Finally the political situation. I feel so helpless about everything. I'm tired of talking heads who point out problems, who invite guests onto their shows then interrupt them, and it becomes a cacophony of sound rather than reasoned responses. The money-spending stupidity out of Washington is rivalled only by the King County's determination to do whatever they want without thought of consequences. The editorial attitude in the local paper is so biased that I long for the more conservative approach in Billings, which leads to a wish to pack up and move back to Montana...where 1) I'd see my own family more frequently, 2) the daily paper wouldn't give me a headache, 3) the members would be encouraged to attend the temple a minimum of once a week instead of a monthly ward temple night that isn't even taken seriously by ward members. But I love my friends here, and I would miss them terribly.
So. That's my headful of challenges today. However, I can't leave it on a negative note, so here are some good things:
The garden is doing well and we are pleased.
We think the van is still under warranty but if not, we have enough to cover the costs.
We are gaining so much from our study of the scriptures. We finished the Book of Mormon recently and decided to take a break from that daily reading in order to read the Doctrine and Covenants together. It is such a neat experience to be able to share thoughts and impressions with my husband.
Neal supports me in my various projects, and encourages me in my recipe experiments. He is a wonderful husband.
2 comments:
I share some of your sentiments... I don't understand the lack of commitment to the Church either. I don't go to ward temple night but I do go to the temple. I think the point of ward temple night is to encourage temple attendance. I don't understand people not doing their callings. If they're not going to do them -- get released! I also don't understand the relaxed attitude about the sabbath either.
And, I totally agree with you about the political behavior and attitudes in this community. It's discouraging. I feel like I'm watching the dismantling of everything sacred, important, and valued in this great country! It's hard.
I know that it's so hard to live far from your daughter and that you miss Julia... How could you not miss her? There are times in the past years when i was so discouraged and felt so alone with my kids far away I didn't think I could stand it. (And I knew they were ok and still here on the earth with me.)
There will be happier days. It's just overwhelming sometimes. I'm so glad we're friends.... take good care and do some things to take care of you -- Maybe it's time for you to become the priority. Take care...
I totally agree, sometimes its just nice to get things out and then feel better about them. You should see my journal sometimes. Oh about a week ago. But then I like how you appreciated things at the end. I do hope things get better for you. My stake president gave a really good talk a couple of weeks ago. He said that we do things to "help others become who they need to become." Sometimes it feels like we aren't making progress toward that goal, but your influence is affecting many and causing positive changes. About the temple thing, sometimes it is hard to go on temple night. Colton and I try to go once a month we just don't always make it to temple night. I must confess sometimes I like it better because you don't have to worry about fitting in with those around you. But we try to go on temple night sometimes. I do hope things get better for you. I'm glad I know you.
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