As a high school teacher, February 14th was a day of disruptions for my classes and disappointments for some students who had hoped for surprises. Kids would send each other flowers, parents would send flowers so their kids wouldn't be left out - and the result was that the conference room would be filled with flowers (and balloons and chocolates). It was a huge relief when the parent group (Bronc Booster Club) took over the receiving of all those flowers and managed the traffic that occurred as kids went to pick up what they received.
In 2000 I married the love of my life. The first two years of our marriage we lived in different time zones and spent holidays and weekends together as often as we could. Our first Valentine's Day together was one of those special weekends. I flew from Billings to Seattle and Neal met me at the airport. We stopped for dinner on the way to our apartment on the lake, and when we got to our home he gave me a beautiful opal ring. I need to take a picture of that ring - it's very pretty.
Fast forward a few years. I retired in 2002 and we moved from the tiny mother-in-law apartment to an apartment complex. Then in 2004 we bought a house on Benson Hill. Shortly afterwards (October 9, 2005) Neal became a paraplegic and all our plans for the rest of our lives completely changed. Neal was in the hospital from October 2005 to February 2006, but he was still alive, we were still very much in love and very grateful to have more time together.
These pictures were taken on Valentine's Day 2007. We celebrated at home with a special meal using our bone china and Waterford goblets, and Neal bought me presents: a cuddly white bear, red heart balloons, mums, and sparkling cider. Neal's health was pretty good that winter and we were hopeful for a long life together. We had figured out how to cope with his disabilities and it was a happy time.
Each year that we were together Neal would do something special for me and I would always try to make it a day of showing love to him. I try not to think about the last month of Neal's life. It was so difficult and every day brought new challenges and bad news.
February 2011. I had been in North Dakota helping my daughter after the premature birth of baby Dreygan and returned to Washington on February 2nd. Our dear friend Elizabeth brought Neal to the airport to meet me and I was shocked at how ill he appeared. The next morning I called the cardiologist and we decided to move up Neal's scheduled aortic procedure a few days. Neal was hospitalized on February 6th but he went into anaphylactic shock during the pre-surgical prep the next morning. They moved him to CICU. where he gradually recovered. They were able to attempt the aortic valvuloplasty on the 10th but it did not go well. When Dr Lewis came out to talk to me he told me there had been complications and Neal was on a ventilator. It was horrible, Neal was struggling so much that they had to sedate him. Finally on the 13th they took him off the ventilator and he slept. All I wrote about February 14th that year was "moved to 3rd floor" but that meant he was out of CICU and I thought it was good news. However his lab tests went steadily downhill from that point and he passed away on February 26, 2011.
So...I don't much care for February memories after 2009. In 2010 Neal was in a nursing home recovering from yet another surgery and all I did that Valentine's day was cover the little bulletin board in his room with hearts and love messages. He came home on the 25th and we celebrated together. We had no idea how little time we had left.
I love that man with all my heart. I miss him so much some days that I can't breathe, but more than anything I am so, so grateful that we are sealed together for eternity and that I can be with him again.
Happy Valentine's Day, my love.
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