Life Is So Fragile

Months have gone by, we celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas and moved on to 2016. Mostly things are going well.  Anne had a temp job through the holidays so that gave her something recent on her resume and now she is job-hunting again.  Fingers crossed about an interview later this week.

The kids are settling in and we have a routine, of sorts.  Things could be better but they have really improved.

I still go to the temple whenever I'm able, but it's more like every other week instead of weekly.  I prefer the Tuesday 5:30am session and was there today.  Lately there have been some distractions that make it difficult to stay focused.  But today was very different.

The 5:30 Tuesday morning session is usually comprised of the same regulars - about 16 - 20 men and 6 - 10 women.  Today was essentially the same group.  I usually sit in the same seat on the second row each time and that's where I was sitting today.  The couple who were seated in the front seats and directly across the aisle from each other are husband and wife and they work in the temple on Tuesdays.  I see them often.  

Today something very different happened.  At one point all the men are supposed to stand up but the husband didn't stand.  It appeared he had fallen asleep but they couldn't wake him. Everything came to a halt, his wife patted his face and spoke his name but nothing happened.  Someone pushed the alarm bell and help arrived.  By then the man had opened his eyes but he didn't seem to be able to speak.  911 was called and I guess they came to the 4th floor hallway - someone wearing a black uniform was out there but I didn't see who it was.  The man was helped to his feet and settled in a wheelchair.  The wife followed her husband out of the room, people volunteered to replace them and we resumed the session.  I believe that everyone in the room prayed for him and for her.

I realized that while I was concerned for him, I was definitely relating to his wife and her desperate efforts to wake her husband.  Four years and 11 months ago I was in a similar situation with my husband.  He suddenly passed out and I couldn't rouse him - and I was in a hospital room with him.  He was talking to the physical therapist and suddenly he became unconscious.  I stepped over to the controls and cranked his oxygen up as high as it would go because his lips were blue and that was the only thing I could think to do that might help.  Suddenly the room was filled with professionals while I stood back and let them try to save him.  I recall one question directed to me, something about if he had DNR on his instructions, but she phrased it differently and all I could say was, "I don't understand your question."  

I didn't cry that day.  Moving him from that room back to CICU (cardiac unit) involved logistics - me moving his power chair to another floor via back hallways and all the details of getting him settled again - there just wasn't time to feel anything.  That day was the beginning of the end but we didn't know it yet.   So today as I watched that dear woman try to help her husband my heart went out to her and suddenly I felt emotions I had stuffed years ago.  

I hope their outcome is better than ours was. I'm praying that it is.