Overwhelmed and Over It

For several months I have felt overwhelmed, not because of one particular thing but more an accumulation of challenges that were out of my control.  Some were related to my home and daily life, others to my family and still others were weekly events that threatened to - well, I almost wrote that those challenges could have forced me to my knees.  But they had.  Frequently.  I went to my knees in prayer over and over about them but most of the time I felt like my prayers got stuck on the popcorn ceiling in my bedroom.  (I really dislike that popcorn ceiling but that's just one more home improvement project on my list.)

Where was I? 

Challenges.  And prayers that seemed to not be answered. 

Last week I had a meeting that I've needed for months - to answer some questions, to demonstrate some problems and to discuss my concerns.  The 90 minute meeting was a great relief to me for so many reasons.  Not only did we address the main problems, but a secondary issue was mentioned in passing.

I wish I could be specific about each of these but confidentiality is involved.  I'll just say that the issue that was mentioned toward the end of the meeting had to do with an unrelated concern, and gave me information I had needed for over a year.

I came home, got ready for bed and knelt to pray.  Suddenly my perception shifted and I was able to ask the right question to finally, finally get the answer I've been seeking.  It was all so clear once I asked the right question. 

Praying that my heart would be softened, praying for understanding, praying to know how to help someone else - none of those had seemed effective.  But when I asked why it felt so uncomfortable the answer came almost immediately.

I get it now.  I had assumed a viewpoint that was flawed.  After the comment in the meeting last Tuesday I realized I had made wrong assumptions right from the beginning.  But knowing the background helped me realize where I got off track and suddenly it feels like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders.  I no longer feel my prayers aren't being answered. 

I just hadn't asked the right question.