Finding comfort

Today Bishop Crane (Julia & Brent's bishop in Cold Springs Ward) sent me a copy of the talk he gave at the funeral. There was one quote that really touched my heart because I like the image it suggests:

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross once said, "People are like stained glass windows. They glow and sparkle when it is sunny and bright; but when the sun goes down their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."

That was Julia - striking appearance and made friends easily, but her real character was evident in how she lived her life during the tough times.

I received an email just before the funeral that contained some thoughtful counsel and has helped me cope with awkward comments and questions - without reacting out of pain. Good advice from a friend:

Thank you for the solemn notification on the passing of your beloved daughter Julia.
Would that one could look into another's eyes and know the depth of grief. Words fail. The opportunity of readjustment now comes. For a time, life will seem stunted, misshapen, or dwarfish in its aspect. Long-time friends appear as strangers. Nothing pleases, all is tasteless. Through slitted eyes one now views our world. Love hides from such a one.
One may now experience momentary joy followed by momentary sorrow of great intensity. You will go through sharp mood swings. Be not in the least attracted to the joys nor displeased by the sorrows. The actions of your friends or companions may evoke anger or shame in you. If you get angry or depressed, one will immediately have an experience of hell. No matter what people are doing, make sure no angry thought can arise. One's mind in its present state of having no focus or integrating force, being light and continuously moving, whatever thoughts occur to you, positive or negative, will wield great power. Therefore, think not of selfish things. Show pure affection and humble faith. Through seeing these words, recollection will come. Recollection will be followed by recognition and liberation.
A loved one's passed from view, and you have gained from her that which is beyond measure. Julia has provided you with tolerance, long-suffering, patience, and love. Please exercise these aspects of virtue towards others. You may honor Julia's time on earth in these ways.
S