Emotions

When I was a school teacher a colleague once told me that teachers get squinty-eyed in April.  She was right. School isn't out but all the days off have been completed, the weather has made the kids think more about being outdoors than in a classroom, it's a constant battle to enforce the dress code and on and on.
But now I have decided that May is a hard month for me.  The yard has come to life, I'm so aware of all the chores I need to do and the lawn insists on growing even when I say "stop it!"
Mostly May is hard because Julia died in the month of May and right after that is Memorial Day which is emotional for me.  So I struggle just to get through this month.
This year some sweet things have happened that make it easier.  I have a good friend who has a son and a daughter.  Both the daughter and the son's girlfriend decided to donate their long hair to Locks of Love - to honor Julia.  Then this morning Julia's best friend from junior high wrote to tell me that she is expecting her third daughter next month and they have decided to give the baby Julia's name. 
I am so grateful for the kindness of friends who honor my first-born child.  Losing her was so difficult and I miss her.

When Neal passed away last year I felt like my world had ended but I take comfort in imagining the two of them spending time together just talking and laughing.